Easy Does It.

Today was my first day back to my routine of exercise in at least 90 days and I was reminded of easy does it as soon as I sat down into the rower to start! I heard all my trainers voices in my head saying easy does it Michael, and then my two sponsors faces appeared and voices saying easy does it buddy! See its funny how my days consist of huge similarities with my personal life and my clients, today was a very stressful yet a very complete day. During my workout I used what I have been taught in the rooms and by my sponsors as did I from my trainers in crossfit! See easy does it is interchangeable in life, this is the great news when remaining teachable!
 Todays stress of the day around what I do was immense but again the term easy does it jumped into my head and I relayed it to my friend, the day was full of the  possibility of bad decisions and all I kept telling him was easy does it friend think about today and make the right decision for today and your future will be fine. Today started with me getting back on track with my body and taking suggestion and gaurding against another injury by retraining my thinking and going easy and passing that on to a friend in despair, when we remain in the solution and stay teachable our lives change. I have learned that the solution is not in going hard all the time, we must be smart, we must train smart, we must live in the now to live in the future!

Love And Tolerance.

So today I was slapped in the face with societies judgements and to be honest it cut like a knife! But how life has funny twists and ways for me to use the tools given to me to carry the message of hope and change to people! See I had a client with me today when I was accused of stealing, now I can honestly say I was furious but my HP stepped in and said to me STOP Michael, Stop, fight your way through the demons of your past right now and bring this man hope for the world, show him that people change and even when we make mistakes all we have to do is make amends and hold our heads high and move forward and learn from this.
 See today was not a test, I don't believe in tests I believe in hard work and change,  my HP has instilled in me a new way of life and that is LOVE AND TOLERANCE by hard work, today I was given another opportunity to be the man I want to be and that is a man of love a man of integrity a man that lives by principles a man of change! Today I was given an oppurtuntiy to not only show change but to walk what I talk to a person who needs to see change, my HP gives me gifts in my life now and I either accept these gifts or throw them away, I am not in the habit of throwing gifts away these days, I may not always like the gifts but I use them and take advantage of every opportunity to grow and not to fail! I don't ask whats wrong with something today I ask whats right with it!
 Today was a chance to show Love And Tolerance to someone that needed to see that change happens one day at a time, see the old me wanted to say do you know who I am, do you know what I use to do, that all flashed in my brain before I reacted, that is the gift I was given today, an opportunity to think before I act, and not act as in something fake but show how I really am today, it isn't an act it is the man I am today, by no means am I cured, but what I am today is a man of integrity and principles, a man who carries the message of HOPE, the message of CHANGE, the message of LOVE AND TOLERANCE! Thank you world for my struggles you can't out work me!
DO WORK!

FAITH

On this weekend of this Holiday weekend I reflect on faith, as I sit here on my current assignment everything that comes to mind daily is faith. See faith that those who have come before me and those who have passed did not do so for nothing! I have the faith that everything happens for a reason, my HP is in charge of life! If tomorrow wasn't promised what would you give for today? Would you spend today thinking of you or someone else! My faith has guided me to others, my first instinct is others, there is a price to be paid for this and I believe I have paid that price and for that God has instilled in me faith that my will is aligned with him and his work is what I do.
 Sometimes while on the road away from my two special ladies, my loves, my wife and daughter  I question my HP and ask am I being selfish by being away to carry his message and then I see a sign, usually in my clients actions that reminds me I am uniquely qualified to help someone just like me and if I stop falling forward and falling backward then I am selfish and I have lost faith in his direction for me and my family! Moving forward is his path, he has my future and my family in mind, I am not alone nor am I meant to be alone, I am a father, a husband, a friend and I am meant to carry his message of recovery to the masses it is his plan not mine, I just must remain in faith that is plan is "THE PLAN", no one said it would be easy.
 My family and I have the faith and believe this is his will for us and all that happens is not in vain but in faith! I DO WORK every day because the future isn't promised only today is!

Working Out The Mind.

My mind needs more exercise than my body! My mind needs constant challenge constant changing and constant growth.  For me my physicality is and has been used as an excuse to not expand my mind, to rely on my look and presence as to not have to engage in challenging situations or conversations.
 Today my mind leads the way as I am confident not arrogant with my ability to have meaningful conversation with my fellows and business associates. They tell us in our literature that we used to lead with our chin, well today with constant work and growth I lead with my mind not my chin.
 See with constant work and A willingness to remain teachable I have evolved into a complete human being that is focused on growth and helping others. We know that our purpose on earth is to be of maximum service to others but that is not possible without the willingness to do the work to be that person! Are you doing the work? Are you challenged daily mentally and physically and if so do you face them or settle? For me I refuse to be that old me ever again,  challenges are welcomed with determination and hard work, I always say to people you may have more natural talent than me more money more this or that but you will not out work me. My work ethic is like no other you have ever seen, I was not blessed with financial security or family help and love what I have today is because my faith in a higher power and the man I have become is because of my HIGHER POWER and the work he guided me to do and then I was blessed with a family and love! I am purely driven to be a man of love a friend a father a husband,  all if these are learned not given, I have worked at being this man, it was not and is not easy but it is worth every minute. I have found my purpose,  my why! All by challenging my mind! I will live to my full potential. I am powerful, not ego driven I am god driven it is necessary!  I will not settle for my past I am blessed to live for today!
DO WORK!

Second Half Of Step One.

So in my journey's across the country I am always reminded of step one. I get to really understand this step in my life but also experience other's unmanageable life and help them see it and redefine success in their own life.
 See when I got sober this was the hardest part of step one for me because being powerless over alcohol was easy to admit but saying I needed help with my life management skills was hard because of ego, see even with all the bad consequences very apparent in my life I still wouldn't surrender my way.
 For me I needed to see the consequences and really feel them and I don't mean going to jail I just mean see and feel it in my life, these are not always jail situations but say not being able to pay bills due to irresponsible spending. See when I couldn't go do something because of this I felt it and was embarrassed and ashamed and never wanted to feel this way again.  For me not being able to provide for my family due to my selfish acts would destroy me so this is easy for me now, but for those I am around guiding through this process of change I must let them feel it and not bale them out but support them in change to never feel this way again and show them where they may have went wrong and change what they did and redefine what is unmanageable in there life.
 For me when one said your life is unmanageable the first thing I did was puff my chest up and lead with ego, today I want a solution and immediately go into action of change because I don't want to feel the pain I once felt. Today I share my experience with my fellow's but I do not enable them so they don't feel the pain because pain is temporary and provides an opportunity to learn a new way to live and in this journey one needs help and support but also must feel to change. Being numb and resistant to change is lack of surrender and an incomplete step 1 there are two parts in step 1 and we must be thorough if we want a better way!
DO WORK EVERY DAY TO LIVE YOUR DREAMS!

The Land Of Familiarity Is Dead.

I have learned to leap higher. This to me is all about trusting me, walking by faith not by sight. I have decided that reaching deep and feeling that pain pushes me to greatness, I don't mean pain as in push yourself to injury I mean pain as in damn this hurts but I feel strong!
 You know that moment of clarity in a work out when you push past the pain to achieve what you have been scared to do, see "FEAR" holds us all back but we all have that moment in our lives when that fear no longer is sufficient, that fear holds no weight and we break free and create new possibilities for ourselves! Impossible is nothing!
 I relate my recovery the same as I do in my physical fitness. I have moments of clarity in both that are so very simaler that if I want change I must change, if I want the pain to stop then I must do it right and remain in the solution not in the problem, these to areas in peoples lives are so simaler and we neglect to see it at times. When things get hard we as humans sometimes look for the easy way out and get the same results every time but when the moment of clarity happens there is no looking back, there is never rest easy, todays successes are just that "TODAY" , the land of familiarity is dead for me today, I want to do better today than I did yesterday just like in my recovery what I did today holds no weight for tomorrow. If all my recovery was about only what I did once for my recovery I wouldn't be here today, the man I was yesterday is not who I am today, I am constantly changing evolving for the better, for greatness in recovery and in my physical fitness yesterday was great but let's make today better!
 I am comfortable today with uncomfortable, I am willing today to face that pain and change!

Constantly Growing!

So I have learned lately that my time is priceless! I have learned lately that we bow before no one.  I have been living with purpose. This was taught to me by the steps. Separate what you do from who  you are, this statement rubbed me the wrong way when first confronted by it. I have made mistakes but I do not let that define me. The specific step that has made this change for me is very simple, it is my tenth step. You will read my blogg's maybe and see a common thing and that is working the 10th step daily, this step saves me from the insanity of self.

 See without this step I am selfish, self centered, and only live for me. I have learned that life without being of maximum service is pointless for me, not only pointless but dangerous for a person like me, I am dangerous for me, when its about me its wrong when its about others its right and I am at peace and lives blessings continue to sit right in front of me to step forward to them, they are not given I must work for them and that is my 10th step.

 See I started the blogg with a few sentences that may have confused some but when you read the 10th step you see that without the 10th step I do not learn these things. I learned where I am is temporary, I will not be there for the rest of my life, as long as my drive is progress, progress is maintained by inventory. There is no reason for a plan "B" it distracts from my plan "A", my plan is constant work with my HP and his will and to maintain that I must do the steps that are required to maintain which was so freely given to me.

Recovery From Ego!

When it comes to the body and the mind I tend to hear one  but not listen to the other! This is a mistake that I continue to pay for dearly. The mind tell's me keep working don't quit, the ego tells me you wont out work me, you wont out rep me, I wont lose!
 This is a huge defect of character that is progress not perfection, I continually pass the level of healthy with obsession and danger, my ego says you are good but the reality is I am not. It takes a humbling moment to recognize this character defect for this alcoholic. See the humbling moment is called injury caused by ego! I find that many times in recovery I was on fire I was on that "Pink Cloud", but that's just it there was no we in this statement only I! Our program teaches us that without "We" there is no "Us" and there is no "Me".
 I must accept help, I must accept that always going "Head First", is not the answer, we must take guidance, we must listen to our body, we must not always push the limits of our body to an unhealthy state, stick to the direction that gives you the results, never let ego run the show, when we see results and let ego take over we injure ourselves because we push to an unhealthy state. I do the same in my recovery and then my sponsor brings me back to reality, this isn't a sprint he tells me, it is a marathon take direction and outlast the competition with hard work and daily inventory, this applies to recovery and health, Mind, Body, and Soul.
 We are a people of instant gratification and no hard work! When I found recovery I found that I must do the work to get the results and that wasn't always instant some times it was months down the road even years! Now with constant work and guidance I "Listen", trial error and injury are the lessons I have learned, lessons in which I could have only learned this way because my "EGO' was running the show. I stopped living my dream because FEAR,I wasn't seeing what I wanted because I wasn't seeing instant results! Fear kills all DREAMS! DO WORK!

A Program Of Action!

I learned in recovery that alcohol and drugs are not my problem. The problem is my thinking. Though that concept seemed strange to me in the beginning, I know how true that it is today. If alcohol and drugs were my problem, then detox would have fixed me, right? But it didn't. Neither did jail, or treatment, or any of the other things which separated me physically from those substances for brief periods of time.

So now I know that the problem is my mind, but what is the solution? My friend Bill J. often says "I can't think myself into better thinking, I have to act myself into better thinking". I believe that he is correct, but what action is required to effect this necessary change in thinking?

The book Alcoholics Anonymous describes the results of working the steps in three distinctly different, yet synonymous terms; spiritual awakening, spiritual experience, and psychic change. Psychic change literally means a change in thinking, and it has been my experience that working the 12 steps and incorporating them into my daily life has done just that.

My perception is not the same as it was before I worked the steps. Following up the decision that I made to try a new way of life in the third step, with the "vigorous course of action" as it is outlined in our book, has not only helped me build a relationship with a God of my understanding, it has profoundly changed the way I view the world and all who are in it.

The result of this change in thinking has been nothing less than miraculous: I haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink or a drug no matter what life has put before me!

Faith

Faith without work's is dead. This term to some is just that, they reality is this term is very important to us in our recovery.  I have learned that it is so easy to simply say it but they truth of them matter is this, faith in my higher power and this program takes work, I must remain diligent, I must pocket my pride and begin taking action every day and trust that my higher power's will is the path I should follow.

The continuous work I must do daily to maintain sobriety is the faith I have in what I do for my recovery.  I believe I must do the work to have them faith, results are what I see in my life, I don't always like them, but I do have faith that this is what my higher power's will is for me, and trust that to be of maximum service to others I must align my will to my HP and maintain the daily work to remain happy joyous and free.